Cute and Deadly Show and Tell

Moved; Left No Forwarding Address

I am posting on my own website now.  www.marthahull.com 

Check it out to find out about my new book, Death's Daughter and the Basket of Kittens, and a whole lot more!

Seduced by the Dark Side

I have joined the dark side. Please join me there.  The evil fun is just beginning.

http://marthahull.tumblr.com/

Maniacal laugh. Maniacal laugh.

Only 376 Days Until Easter 2014. Time to Consider: Easter Bunny - More Evil than Clowns?

Sure, it's not Easter any more and all the good candy is gone from the half-off displays.  But the way I see it, it's never the wrong time to consider who the Easter Bunny really may be when he's not "delivering candy."... and how to protect yourself and your children from him.

You will have nightmares tonight.

The fearless Annie Churdar  faced many hours of terror finding these for you.

Here's but two of the Easter Bunny's evil legion incarnations.   To see more, IF YOU DARE... here's your link.  Don't say I didn't warn you.

You'd better leave some really nice carrots out next year... Easter's only 376 days away. 

I get zombies PLUS Brad Pitt?!

I am one of those people who not only owns the Zombie Survival Guide, but takes it just a TINY bit too seriously.  And I'm okay with that.  I'm also stocking up my earthquake water supply, so being one of "those people" will have its advantages when you are all drinking out of puddles after the Big One.  The guy who wrote the ZSG, Max Brooks, also wrote World War Z.  And you will be shocked to know not only have I not read it, I don't even own it with the intention of reading it someday.  It's not any sort of principle thing, just a cheapskate/lack of time thing.

But today, I stumbled across a co-worker watching a trailer... for World War Z, the movie!

This is where some of you roll your eyes because you've known about this forever.  I admit to having my head in the sand a lot.  Not watching TV much will do that for you.  But, in case you are as out of touch as I am, now you know that Brad Pitt's gonna battle zombies this summer!

I'm not insanely in love with Brad Pitt the way some people are, but he's a great actor and, well, I liked him a lot before Angelina got her crazy sticky little fingers on him.  Now he mostly just confuses me, yet... well, apparently I'm ready to watch him battle zombies!

Whatever.  Brad is still easy on the eyes, and I'm still riding the wave of joy over popular culture exploring one of the things I enjoyed about BEFORE it was hot.  (Annual Xmas zombie movie - family tradition!)

So basically, this is a "share the excitement" post.  Let's check back after June 21 and we'll see how we all feel about Brad Pitt vs. Zombies then.  :)

Cute and Deadly... Natalie Portman at 12?

In a previous or future life, I was or will be a hit man.  Or a sniper/soldier of fortune.  Or both.  Don't worry, I have only killed/will only kill people who deserve to die.  (I understand this is a huge philosophical can of worms, but it's my fantasy now here people.)  So yes, I was a badass, stealthy, gun-toting so and so...  How else can you explain my fascination with sniper/hit man movies?  (Of course, this means I was a pirate and a robot once or in the future too, so maybe my argument is a bit weak.)

Nevertheless, I watched an old but delightful movie this weekend that I missed while I was spending the 1990s chillin' with the Fresh Prince in my living room.  Léon: The Professional came out in 1994 and... where has it been all my life?!  Watch the trailer here.

Directed by Luc Besson, who directed La Femme Nikita and whose work I am about to become much more intimately acquainted with (who has his own section at Movie Maddness) - and starring an adorable 12-ish year old Natalie Portman (who I have totally forgiven for playing Queen Amidala), and the under-touted extremely sexy French/Moroccan/Spanish force of nature Jean Reno, it is a charming tale of a loner who has a desperate Dickensian child thrown in his life, and after much begging and cute manipulation by her, teaches her to be a "cleaner" too.  She hits on him in a Lolita-like way, but he remains noble and heroic through all.   You know, the way most hit men are. 

So it's a fantasy I guess... and there is a lot of heist-like action and suspense.  Natalie Portman is adorable to the bone.  Oh, yeah.  And Gary Oldman is in it.  And that alone should be enough.

Don't Panic

If only the Guide to Real Life had the words "Don't Panic" in large, friendly letters on it...

Thanks to the supremely calendar-conscious folks at Google, I was reminded that Monday would have been Douglas Adams' 61st birthday, thanks to their delightful interactive doodle.  Which means he died even younger than I realized.  (When you visit the doodle, make sure you click on the Guide.  Many times.  It's happymaking.  And click around, too.  No one'e ever come up with an accurate rendition of what Marvin actually looks like, I believe.)

I was in art school when Douglas Adams passed.  I remember hearing it on the radio as I got dressed for a balmy weekend day in Boston.  It was a bit of a gut punch.  Celebrity deaths don't usually get to me, but when it means No More of a Thing Much Loved, well...  Because if you'd asked me who my favorite living author was, I would have said... you got it.  I wore a filmy black scarf tied around my military boonie cap all day.  Maybe all week...  until I got tired of catching it in my backpack.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is one of the most delightful romps into improbability I've ever been on.  Like Lewis Carroll, another beloved author, much of Adams' 5-part trilogy (yes, that's right) reads like dream sequences.  I finished re-reading all five books about a month ago.  They hold up really well, except for the talk about digital watches and the charming anachronism of a land line telephone which doesn't even have an answering machine attached.  Otherwise, it's still a pretty good satire of the more bizarre, frustrating, and also charming aspects of human behavior.

I really don't have a lot to say here that doen't make me sound like a blathering fan.  Except to let you know that Portland is considering re-naming 42nd Avenue "Douglas Adams Ave."  Not that he has any ties to PDX, except that we rejoice in awesome.

There was much more to Doulas Adams than the Hitchhiker's Guide, but history will remember him for that.  I and will remember him for making me laugh out loud alone in a poorly-lit room.

What is this "cute" thing, anyway?

I love cute stuff.  Especially warped cute stuff, but I've got a soft spot for plain ole cute, too.  So... what IS "cute"?

Well... this.

What makes it cute is the question.  I first discovered this image years ago on Cute Overload, which is an awfully good way to disappear a half hour (or more) from existence in your life.

Although the essence of cute is somewhat subjective, there are things which add up to cute.  Not all are necessary, but these are ingredients. 

#1.  Big Eyes (especially big pupils).  #2.  Small scale.  #3.  Animals doing something kinda human (works better for some things than for others and this DOES NOT ping all cuteness radars).  But look at the little hands on the hamster holding the corn.  #4.  Fluffiness. 

The big eyes alone will get you far.  Am I like a magician who is showing you how to do my tricks?  So be it.  I feel like living dangerously.  This list is not comprehensive.  Please feel free to post your own ideas on what makes things cute.  More than anything, I just needed to share this picture with you.

World of Goo

Riddle me this:  What is adorabe, creepy, apocalyptic, gooey, addictive, brain-challenging but not excruciatingly so, and you can play with it when you get home from work to wash the day away quickly and thoroughly?

If you said World of Goo, then you are already one of the enlightened.  Watch the trailer.  Watch it.

I generally don't have time for video games.  Or a trained joystick/controller reflex.  But I can move cute little goo balls with big eyes who chirp and laugh and sing like birds while we are solving spatial puzzles together.  I play it on the Wii.  It's available for smartphones, too.

So you build and connect your little goo ball friends to build structures to get from A to B, sometimes in extremely challenging ways.  Sadly, many of your little goo friends will die for the greater good.  You can keep playing levels until you solve them, skip the hardest if you want to, and can re-play to get higher scores.  Your goal is to save/collect goo balls, which you will need when you visit the World of Goo Corporation, which is the final level - but you can also play there at any point during the whole game.  Which took me two levels to figure out, but like I said, I'm not really that good at video games.

The world is so surreal.  You are playing in places that at first look friendly, and then get progressively weirder and darker as the game goes on.  Then the world ends... and you keep going.  My kind of reality.  My kinda game.  I'm currently on the last level before World of Goo Corporation (which is now in ruins after I played the last level.)  It's a separate level, yet changes based on what has happened in the last level you completed. 

I'm afraid to play World of Goo any more because I don't want it to be over.

The music.  I love it.  It's spooky and atmospheric and Epic.  Total experience.

Get past the first level.  It is good, but it gets amazing pretty fast once you hit level/world 2.

It was created by 2DBoy, who have broken my heart by not releasing any sequels since this came out in 2008.  Sob.  Do yourself a favor and get this magical game.  -M

 

Vegan Black Metal Chef... need I say more?

So the kitchen is not my favorite room in the house, but I really like people who do enjoy spending time in the kitchen (and I don't just mean hanging around the keg.)

I have friends who like to cook.  I have friends who are vegans.  I have one friend who is an amazing vegan chef (yes, that's you, Sara).  But... perhaps my favorite chef of all is the Vegan Black Metal Chef!  Sorry, Emeril.  Your food may be great, but you fall short in hilarity.

I really need some fancy blades to stir my pad Thai sauce with.  Then, perhaps I will actually make pad Thai, instead of just heading out to the corner Thai restaurant.  (In Portland, there's one between every bar and coffee shop.)  Enjoy!

 

 

 

Gray Man Project Interviews... moi!

So I met this guy named Seamus.  Yeah, that's cool enough, right?  But Seamus Burke is also a groovy comic book artist who happens to be doing a project featuring other artists who work in black and white.  Like... yours truly.  Here is my interview for the Gray Man Project.

This is what Seamus Burke looks like as a Gray Man.